This is going to be a long blog, not my typical type, but I wanted to share this with you, my readers because sometimes we hold on to things and realize years later, we did not need to.
There are times when people cross our paths and deliberately hurt us in such a way that you never want to remember that moment. Six years ago I worked for a large employer that I thought was going to be the place I would retire from in my old age; until I encountered a woman who was my boss, we will call her Madame G. She was a very self-centered person that had no shame in telling a person what she thought about them. She made it known that she did not like people or children and often joked that she was lucky she liked her own children but refused to acknowledge that she even had grandkids. Her grandkids were not allowed to call her grandma, she had a special name for them to call her, it was Gma. She raved about her ability to be the best in the industry. Wow! There was no room for questions and answers, the response as a new manager there that I received was read your policy and procedure book ( this book of many was over 300 plus pages long). This type of job was new to me as far as state laws were concerned and some training would have been appreciated, but the management portion of my job was not new to me.
I had a team of about 15 nurses and social workers. The team was great, they were willing to work hard and help each other. My team was very multicultural consistent of Spanish, Haitian, Trinidad, African American, and White, but I loved the diversity because no other team had that. My management style is that of a transformational leader which is someone who seeks to motivate and inspire others by influencing versus directing others. My boss was a transactional leader which is someone that focuses on supervision, organization, and performance. They promote compliance by rewards and punishments. She was feared by many on her team. I realized this on day one of being with her, but with a little boy that had medical needs, I knew I could not afford to leave this high paying job with benefits. As the months went by this leader brought me to tears daily at my desk ( I worked from home primarily and in the field with my staff).
On one instance, two months after starting work there, I was to meet her at the office so that the management could go out to lunch after that for the Christmas season. Madame G started to ask me why I was not caught up on all the reports that the other managers who had been there longer than 5 years had completed. I advised her that I had questions on the reports as there were many due at all different times of the months, her response to me was, “is there something wrong with your learning ability?” I felt bullied at that very moment thinking, did my boss just call me stupid? I held back my tears and anger long enough to reply no, I just had a question, but I will figure it out. We left for our lunch with the other teammates. At lunch she presented us with a gift that she felt fit our individual personalities. My gift was a black velvet Journal called Bright Ideas. I thought it was a nice gift since I love to write. I thanked her and said this will come in handy when I am out and I think of a good idea to write for a new book or blog. Her response to that was, “I don’t read books, I read the policy and procedure every night and that way I memorize it, anything else there is no point in reading. ” I found this to be strange but moved on.
The following month I had to go out to do visits with one of my staff, during that time, I went to a nursing home and met some of her patients. While there I picked up a bacteria from a patient. I was deathly ill, to the point that I could not even sit at my desk to work. I went to the local Centra Care and they thought I had a passing cold, and gave me medicine to take and instead of getting better, I developed fever, chills, pain, weakness, and became dehydrated. My husband in fear took me there again, they tested me for the flu but found out instead I had picked up a rare bacteria. They asked where I had been and as I explained that I was at the nursing home, they realized it was a nursing home borne bacteria. I was quarantined contagious, my then toddler son had to be sent to my mother’s house and anything I ate with or drank from had to be disposable. My husband emailed Madam G because I could not sit up at the desk long enough to write it. The Dr. had excused me from work for an entire week, due to being contagious for a week or the alternative would have been a hospitalization. I said I would comply and rest. Madame G wrote back stating that I needed to go to work since I worked from home and that my work was going to be backed up as no one was going to do it for me. I had to go back to Centra Care to get a note so that I could fax it to Madame G excusing me from working at home as well. Eventually, I did get better and was definitely careful to visit nonsick patients when I did field visits with my staff in order to protect my fragile medical child that could not afford to get sick. This posed problems with Madame G because she said that was why she did not like kids because they were always sick. Whenever I took PTO to take him to appointments, I received a lecture about it. I took PTO when my sister in law passed away and even that was questioned. Wow!
As the months went by, things did not get any better, until one day, we received an email from the general manager stating that Madame G was on medical leave because she had to go out of town due to her son being severely ill. I wanted to do the happy dance because I thought yes peace on earth for a while, but I did ask God for forgiveness and prayed for her son. Work life was going great while she was gone. I learned a lot, did my job and sought help from others. It was nice to be praised for good work by her covering manager. I even got to plan the department Company lunch for Christmas, from what I heard, the staff stated they never had a nicer party than that. I was glad that it brought people from all across Central Florida together.
Months later she came back with a fury, I had reached out to her when she came back to say I hope her son was okay and that I would pray for his continued recovery, I felt it was okay to say because on many occasions she said she was a Christian. Things continued to worsen to the point that HR got involved for her yelling at me and then retaliating because I complained to HR. When I went in for my evaluation one day she proceeded to talk about the gun that she carried everywhere she went and how she was not afraid to use it. She spoke about how she scared off men so that they would not think they were taking advantage of her. I feared for my life being in a board room with no one around and her telling stories of having a gun with her everywhere she went. After 18 long months, I could not stand it anymore and left. My staff still to this day write to say hello and tell me that they miss me but understood why I left and Madame G left shortly after I did ( No one knows the details if she was asked to leave or if she left on her own).
As Mrs. Michigan International, I get the opportunity to attend many events to help promote the charity The Gift of Life that supports babies born prematurely and their parents. Recently, I was asked to be at a high profile event where many celebrities would be present and be the keynote speaker at the event. I thought what an honor for the charity. My good friend and singer attended the event with me, she was a great supporter to me that day ( I will share why in a minute). When I received the program book I nearly passed out, under the volunteer section, in black and white it listed the name of the volunteers, and there it was Madame G’s name. I could not believe it, I called my friend and she said can it be someone else, I said sadly no, this person has a name so unique it cannot be mistaken for another Jane Doe. I thought maybe she won’t show up, maybe she just helped out and that was the extent of her help. I lost sleep over it the night before. My friend prayed for me and bless her heart I think she worried over it with me.
I arrived at the location and as soon as I got there I saw Madame G from afar and thought please help me to stay away from her God. Well, as I walked to the check-in table the Coordinator of the event, came up to me with open arms and a warm greeting and announced to everyone, this is Rosie Moore, Mrs. Michigan International, our celebrity. She looked over at Madame G and said, come and take her to the restroom to get ready with her sash and crown. My friend had arrived but was preparing to sing so I was not able to get her to come with me. I wanted to just die at that moment. As she came up to me, she gave me a hug and said welcome. She proceeded to have me place my bags in their designated spot and walked me to the restroom to get my sash and crown on. We walked around the entire building as she did not know it was right across from where we had been standing until someone pointed that out to her. She made small talk about the humid weather and early rise of the day. She asked if I needed help getting ready, I said the fastest no on the planet.
The day went by as I posed for pictures with the celebrity guests and in one of those instances, I had to pose in a picture with her as well in a group picture. I tried to remove myself from the picture but it was insisted that I remain because all the volunteers wanted the picture with me in it. Soon it was time for my speech, I was not nervous to speak because of the people that attended the event but more so that someone that hated me so much and bullied me for a year and a half was going to be sitting in the audience. She had been assigned to make sure I had everything I needed that day. I tried to be self-sufficient, but honestly was being treated as the second main celebrity of the day.
I presented my speech with confidence. The prayers that my friend said just before speaking worked because not an ounce of nervousness or hesitation came about. I did not think of Madame G or anyone else. I spoke about what The Gift of Life is and why we do what we do. I was recognized with an award for being a speaker. I was touched at this generosity.
The event has long passed a few months ago and these thoughts were still in my head. I thought about poetic justice and the flip side is the person that treated me so wrong was humbled by having to serve me that day ( in the sense of seeing to anything I needed). But as I really thought about the lesson in all of this, it was a lesson for me, it taught me also to be humble and give all my worries and anxieties to God. When my friend prayed my nerves were calmed down. I lost sleep the night before over something that was not my problem to worry about. I learned that I should pray for those that are indifferent towards me.
I have seen this person at another event that I attended, again I was given a VIP seat at the event and she was there in another section with the volunteers. I happened to see her in the hallway of this event and pointed her out to my husband and my friend that also attended this event. I greeted her and said, hello we meet again after she saw that it was me that said the words, she continued to walk the other way away from me. I know in my heart that I will forgive this woman because that is what God asks us to do. She may harbor ill feelings or dislike towards me, but that is something that she will deal with on her own. As for me, I choose to be free of someone hurting me and holding on to those feelings for years.
Just Rosie Moore https://rosiemoore27.com/just-rosie/