Today’s Valentine blog is brought to you by Rinat Halon, a Colleague of ours in the wedding industry.
I love photographing weddings because everyone is beautiful and happy on this day. It is a day when deep meaningful vows are exchanged, a great party is planned and the couple’s sparking exit lights up the path to their happily ever after; that is, except for the 50% of married couples who divorce.
Recently I watched the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days—remember this movie? Spoiler alert, if you haven’t seen it, here’s a fair warning that you’re about to find out! I was in bed watching Andie, the main female character, become more and more needy in her behavior toward Benjamin, her love interest. With every needy behavior Andie exhibited, I slipped deeper under the blanket, thinking to myself “oh no, I’ve done that before!” This type of behavior normally sends men running in the opposite direction but Benjamin stayed. Why? I’ll get to that—keep reading.
Valentine’s Day is “the day of atonement” for single women everywhere. If you are currently not married or in a relationship, you’d pretty much rather be dead. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard single women say they hate Valentine’s Day. Poor St. Valentine, he meant so well!
The thing is, Valentine’s Day is about celebrating love and as my friend, Cathleen Pope says, “True love doesn’t just happen, true love is built.” So if you are alone this year on Valentine’s Day, it is probably the best thing that could happen to you. That means you are NOT with a man who is not sure about you, a man who is only there for the good times, or a man who just doesn’t deserve you. So if your man wants to walk out on you saying you are too needy, you are asking for too much, and it’s going too fast, guess what, he is not your valentine and you are better off losing him before Valentine’s Day.
After 18 years of photographing weddings, I can honestly say that the couples who make a mutual decision to go through the tough times together, stay together. So when the going gets tough, it’s not time to turn your back and run, it’s time to grab your love’s hand and jump in head first because like everything else, the only way out of the tough times is through them.
In his book, Take the Stairs, Rory Vaden writes about a natural phenomenon that occurs when a storm approaches. Cows sensing the storm try to run away from it, but the storm catches up with them anyway. Buffalo on the other hand, are very unique for the animal kingdom, they turn and charge directly into the storm and run straight through it. A marriage is about mutual respect, forgiveness and many, many, MANY second chances. If a man cannot commit to you 100% this Valentine’s Day, he will not make it running through the storm of marriage with you.
Going back to How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Andie actually tried to lose Benjamin on purpose because the whole thing was a setup for a magazine article she was writing. The one thing Andie did not know was that Benjamin had a bet with his colleagues that he would make Andie fall in love with him. Because of that bet, Benjamin endured Andie’s behavior ; behavior that usually sends a guy running in the opposite direction. Andie who just cannot seem to shake Benjamin, cranks up the crazy; but to her surprise, Benjamin, who is suffering so much at this point and would rather be getting his teeth pulled, won’t budge. The most peculiar thing happens, Andie and Benjamin truly fall in love.
They fell in love because they went through the storm together. They got through the good, the bad, and the ugly cry together. They saw each other’s not-so-flattering sides and survived to tell about it. This is the part of a couple’s journey where true love is born. The kind of love that leads to a happy, dedicated, everlasting marriage.
So this Valentine’s Day, celebrate being alone. Celebrate knowing that you let go of the guy that was not 100% sure about you and in doing so, you made room for the awesome guy who is all in and the man who appreciates all you are. You have also made room for the man who loves you despite your faults, and trusts you with his heart, knowing that you are also all in and willing to say you’re sorry and try again a different way.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Call me when he proposes and you need a wedding photographer
To see Rinat’s wedding photography portfolio and inquire date availability go to halonwp.com